Throwaway Girl by Kristine Scarrow

Author:Kristine Scarrow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dundurn
Published: 2014-09-23T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

January 2005

It’s January. I’ve been at Larry and Sandra Puhler’s house for a little over three months now. It doesn’t feel like home. I’m not sure it ever will. I’ve been spending my days with Hunter, Stephanie, and other kids in the neighbourhood. I attend school most mornings, but by afternoon you’ll usually find me sitting in the ditch alongside the train tracks. It’s our meeting spot and some days there are a dozen of us passing the time there. Hunter’s always bringing bottles of liquor. Mostly I drink enough just to feel a buzz, but if I’m being honest here, there’s been a few times that drinking takes the pain away.

It’s a cold, blustery winter in the Prairies, so we’re often drinking to stay warm. There isn’t really any other place for us to go. Most of the kids have parents who are drunk or high all of the time, or there are so many people living in their house that adding extra bodies wouldn’t be possible. Larry and Sandra are usually home, and while there really aren’t any rules with them, somehow we know that drinking the afternoons away in their tiny bungalow wouldn’t be on the list of acceptable practices.

Today is especially windy. I’m wearing a thin hoodie instead of a winter jacket and my body is trembling. None of us are dressed for winter, but not for lack of winter gear. It’s more because we think we’re too cool to be all bundled up like little kids. Stephanie is cuddled into her new boyfriend, and Hunter is smoking a joint and staring up at the sky.

I’m feeling nervous because Marcus is also with us today. He keeps looking over at me and smiling, making my stomach jump with anxiety. I’m wrapping my arms around my knees, my bottom feeling numb and nearly frozen from sitting in the snow.

“Hey girl,” Marcus says, plopping down in the snow beside me. His breath is making warm circles in the air. I turn my head towards him with a shy smile.

“You cold?” he asks. I’m shivering uncontrollably, though I’m not sure it’s just the cold. He puts his arm around me protectively and squeezes me close to him. The butterflies in my stomach flutter together furiously. A nervous laugh escapes me and Marcus rubs his hands up and down my arms.

“Come here, I got you,” he says, his voice husky and warm. I like having his arms around me. I like being held, it feels comfortable and soothing. The trembling eases and Marcus moves his arm to brush hair from my face and run his fingers down my cheeks again. I feel the same rush of pleasure that I felt the first night in the park. I snuggle deeper into his chest and close my eyes. His smell is a mixture of cologne and cigarettes, but it’s pleasant enough that I breathe him in deeply.

The others nod over to each other and stare at us. Some of them are wide-eyed while others are smirking and elbowing each other.

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